I'm Still Alive

Internets,

I've missed you. Sorry about not always being here for you. Sometimes life just gets busy. But I'm back now. And to start that ...whole...thing...here's some comedy I did on January 1st at the Steel City Coffee House in Phoenixville, PA.



On a related topic click here to listen to Max Barth performing on the same night. If you listen closely, you can hear him being heckled by a girl who is literally retarded.

All the Best,
Ryan

Max Barth - NYC Show!

I will be performing at the Times Square Comedy Club (formerly the Laugh Factory) in NYC on February 23rd.
It should be a fantastic show - many of the performers are seasoned (like, salt and stuff) comedy folks who have performed for Comedy Central, HBO, etc.

This is a great opportunity for me to perform in one of the best clubs in the city, and it’s a great opportunity for you to see a great show in a great way for a great price.

I can get a limited number of HALF PRICE tickets - only 10$ (there is a two drink minimum, however…) - if you email me at mbarth2@Ithaca.edu. Anyone over 18 is free to come.

The show starts at 9pm, so plan to get there around 8:30.

Times Square Comedy Club
303 W. 42nd St. 8th ave.
NY, NY 10036
Please let me know if you are interested, I’d love to see you there.

Why do I take showers on days like this?

It's a Saturday. It's been snowing all day, I knew I wasn't going anywhere or seeing anyone. I woke up at 1:30 and watched TV. I took a shower, then put my pajamas back on and went back downstairs to watch TV, and that's what I've been doing since then. Why did I even take the time? And why am I now upset for wasting the time that I was already wasting otherwise?

I just got back from visiting my girlfriend in Virginia. Here is a log of my experiences there:


1/3/09

Tell me if the following sounds like a true statement:

“After my girlfriend went to sleep, I watched Star Trek.”

Well, believe it or not, that’s what is happening as I write this in the wee hours of my second day here in Virginia.

What a fascinating place this is. There are literally plantations here. Like I think there’s one down the street.

Also, there is a nearby town called Goochland. Goochland!!!

But I think the most baffling thing I’ve seen in my first day here is this: two stores, right next to each other, one called “Shenanigans” and one called “Whimsies.” How could they let that happen???!!! God I love it here.

1/4/09

There is a street called Cow Path Lane. And you might actually see a cow on it!

Also, the roads in this area are barely wide enough for one car, but they are two-way roads. With no lines. And everyone drives at least 50mph at all times. It’s great.

There is a 7 Eleven every mile.

We had Kebabs for lunch. I guess that’s ethnic food when you’re in Virginia.

I also drank a Sobe. That’s not really a Virginia thing I guess, but I was confused about several things. It said on the bottle that it contains guarana and rose hips. First of all, is guarana good or bad? We can’t seem to come to a consensus on this as a culture. And the Internets barely have anything to say about it. Also, what part of the rose is actually the hip? I realized I have never seen a severed rose hip. Furthermore, why are there pieces of flowers in my iced tea?

1/5/09

We went to Shenanigans today!!! It’s a small toy store. They had all the basics – your Playmobil, your stuffed animals, your board games - but they had a few items that I think would be hard to find up north, such as the Confederate Army figurines, Bible 20 Questions, and an “After The Flood” jigsaw puzzle. I may have to start a “Bizarre things intended for children” collection.

We ate dinner at Chili’s, which created some more-stressful-than-necessary scenarios. For instance, the manager asked us if we were married, then proceeded to perform what I can only describe as a standup act about her marriage. She did like a 5-minute set. Completely unprompted. My girlfriend and her friends told me this is not commonplace in Virginia, but I’m not convinced.

1/6/09

I didn’t leave the house today until 10pm when we went out to buy medicine because I’ve been sick the entire time I’ve been here. CVS looks exactly the same in every state, by the way.

If you’re coming to our show on the 16th, I have good news. I now have at least a list of ideas for my solo portion. Nothing Virginia-related, though.

Probably the funniest part about this whole trip is that my flight tomorrow has a layover in Georgia. No, you read that correctly. I am flying from Virginia to Georgia, then from Georgia to New York. It was literally my only option.

See you back in the Union, motherfuckers!

Screw Year's Eve

Well, since I did a Christmas post, I thought I should do a New Year's post a'swell.

See now, the thing about Christmas this year was, as I said, it has changed a lot, but I enjoyed it as much as I always have. Things have been removed and added to the tradition, but it did not feel as though it were lacking in any way. New Year's Eve, however, was somewhat less exciting than usual this year. No one was around. No aunts and uncles, no sisters, no cousins. Just my parents and me sitting on the couch watching the Twilight Zone marathon. What the hell happened? Every other night of the year I'm the one in my family out doing more interesting things. I didn't even see this coming. It was just Christmas, then next thing I knew, there's Rod Sterling. And it's fine, I don't mind spending time with my parents now and then. And I'm something of a nerd and I enjoy the occasional Twilight Zone. But there was something quite anti-climactic about my low-key New Year's Eve.

Of course, this is not the most boring way I have spent the night of December 31st. One year we were coming home from the airport (we had been in Florida, because apparently that year we realized it was silly to spend the entire winter in an inhospitable tundra) and we were still in the car when the clock struck 12. That was probably the least climactic moment of my life.
"And...it's midnight! Happy New Year!"
"Yeah, that's great. Are we home yet?"

Happy New Year!

-Joe