Get to the point. Period.

It's about time for another rant about commercials.

Am I the only one who is extremely annoyed by all the recent commercials for medicines in which the drug details and side effects speech is given by a character in the dramatization? Such as the commercial for Yaz where the one blonde girl (social statement?) is describing all the information about the pill to her two friends, who can do nothing but look on stupidly, as their characters really play no part in conveying any of the necessary information in the commercial. One of them then actually comments on how much the blonde knows about medicine, to which the blonde replies with a folksy quip about how she went to medical school. It's the most obnoxious shit. I mean seriously, I don't need a fucking one act play, especially if it's terrible. Just tell me what the damn thing does and let me get on with my life.

And need I even mention the way these characters present this information? They give the exact same speech that the voice-over would normally give, word for word, and it sounds retarded. No one would ever speak that way, ever. It's just not realistic. Here's how the conversation would probably go in real life:

Girl 1: Man, periods suck.

Girl 2: Yeah, really.

Girl 3: Oh hey, I'm on this pill called Yaz. It makes you have less periods.

Girl 1: Oh that would be sweet. I'll look into that.

Girl 2: Me too.

Not very exciting, is it? No, and that why you don't put that shit on TV. And don't try to write these characters into realistic situations while giving them unrealistic dialogue. Neither one works. Please just give me a voice telling me what the medicine does, and maybe something to look at. If you feel the need to show middle aged men and women kayaking and power walking through forests to get your point across that's fine, just don't let them say anything. I can even tolerate the angry female punk band version of "We're Not Gonna Take It" if you must, but please fire these idiot writers and marketing people who are making me want to tear my eyes out.

Good tidings,

-Joe

Bonnaroo!

Howdy Folks!
(because I'm a cowboy)

So, have you heard of Bonnaroo? It's this 4 day music festival in Manchester, TN.

(Manchester, as far as I can tell, is mostly just a Walmart the other 361 days of the year.)

It also features a few comedians.

Well anyway, I just got back from performing at Bonnaroo.

Well, not as a musician.

Or as a comedian.


BUT I did make some high-profile audience appearances. I attended several shows, and waited up to two or three hours to see some of the comedy. That's how dedicated I was to my performances.

I have pictures.


That's me with comedian Aziz Ansari of television's Human Giant, which is a very funny sketch comedy show.












Here I am with Rob Huebel (also of Human Giant) And Brian Posehn of Just Shoot Me and The Sara Silverman Program.

Now, let's be realistic. If I hadn't actually been a performer (as opposed to some jerk who just went there and sold burgers and fries), would these guys have hung out with me?

Because they definitely hung out with me.

We're totally friends now.

Seriously.




Not lying,
Ryan


Also, as per Aziz Ansari's request: Aziz Ansari is a fucking bad ass.

Narnia Sketch

Hey there!

for those of you that didn't see it, this is a short sketch I wrote for DP Show.






I'll have a full post soon.

What We Learned In Our First Year Of College

As many of you know, we have just recently completed our freshman year of college. It is a time of transition and change for all who experience it, and there is much to learn and discover. For our return from our blogging hiatus, we have decided to share with you, our faithful readers, some of these bits of wisdom that we picked up along the way:

-Buying lots and lots of cheap things still decreases your money supply.
-Eat less than the amount of food that makes you feel like dying.
-If you are interested in a girl, get her number. And her name.
-The majority of the people you meet will eventually ignore you.
-Extension cords are the worst thing in the world, and underage drinking is ok.
-Nachos. Delivered right to your door. For minimal funds.
-You need more than 3 minutes to get to class.
-There isn’t actually enough time to do all of the things.
-We do our best work when we do it angrily and sarcastically – Joe's "Fluzzleland" piece received endless praise from his writing professor.
-The name and location of every nation of Africa (not for a class).
-There are people in the world who have not seen Star Wars and who have not heard all of The Beatles’ music.
-There are people who actually live in the city of Ithaca.

In memory of George Carlin
1937 - 2008

-Joe & Ryan